The Return of a Lord - Discussion

Its funny.
She never used to flame me. :lol:

 

You just made me realize that you didn't need standing up for, so I returned to Destructo-Mode. That's all.

 

Ok well anyway.
I made a post in the roleplay.
I hope you dont find it rude or unacceptable.
I tried my best to tie it in with the storyline.

 

my head hurts. please tell me we're not allowing this.

 

Whats wrong with that?
Every story has its weedey, seedy, weirdo character.

 

Since she didn't seem to like it, I put it here instead, do not try putting it back until someone else has had their say.

 

That sounds like a fair solution to me.
Good decision Mathboy...

 

Opinion of an outsider:

The first three paragraphs either need to be replaced or toned down. Although you are creating a seedy character, the setup is actually too graphic. Unless you're writing porn, leave something to the readers' imagination.

From "He sees a Dwarf outside" on down is comparable to many of the postings I've read at the other threads. You do need to work on your puncuation, but that much off to a good start.

Again, this is just my opinion.

 

Wait for someone in the thread too.

 

I like it, but I also agree that the first portion is a tad too graphic. Just leave something to the imagination, because technically you didn't say anything if we're only thinking about it.

 

I guess it's in then. The only thing that could make me delete it now is if Maximus (the thread starter) objects.

 

i object entirely, but if it can be toned down to something reasonable, i can learn to live with it.

 

Well i mean.
Look at it this way.
There is no swearing in it at all.
There is mild reference's of a sexual nature but nothing explicit.
Its not like i said, As he sat there tugging his cock blah blah.
I think describing a gorey battle with skeletons and people dieing is going to be a tad more explicit.
Besides, what is this?
PG 13? :lol:

 

I'm with rosie on this.

 

:lol:
My God.
Ok lets not have it in there then.
I guess some people cant handle any form of realism.

 

Steampunk, who the hell do you think you are? And cut out with your smiley-abuse; it's frustrating to see them everywhere you turn your eyes.
Besides, this is not the real medieval world. This is a fictionary one, with dragons and skeletons and whatever.
There is no Japan, though, and no goddamn samurais.

 

Ok.
For a start, i know who i am.
Secondly, smiley abuse?
Ive been keeping it 2 usually 1 smiley per post.
And thirdly, my post has nothing to do with japan or samurai's.
Granted, the first post i made there, "By mistake", was.
Anyway.
Dont bitch if you dont know what your talking about.

 

So why do you?

 

One smiley per post is abuse to me. Keep it at one per ten posts and you're fine by my book.
And I never saw your other post, part from the one about Japan. It was deleted too quickly, so I never had a chance to read it.

But my guess is that it sucked nevertheless. Otherwise people wouldn't bitch and moan about it.

Finally, don't fuck with your elders. Or we'll kill you.

 

The ladies didn't like the first paragraph, so I dont either. The rest of the post can stay though, as it fits well with the story.

(No more pron though, or your out.)